TOP FIVE EMO BALTO MUSIC VIDEOS TO EAT SCONES TO

your daily top five emo balto music videos to eat scones to, reviewed by Chandra of the Popcorn (Chopcorn of the Popcorn (Scones))

1)
"The Petzgirl adaptation of Balto is richly labored and seamless. It is both black and white and in color, depending on what Balto's mood is. Breathe your life into me. I'm a cartoon dog. The other dogs just beat me up. And now I'm on the ice. I can feel you. I'm falling, falling."

2)
"The Original Balto Musik Video. #2. If you only see one Balto remix video this year, make it Du Hast."

3)
"Never mind. This is the best Balto. He's a vampire."

4)"But eriously. The original. #4."


5)"The 5th Children's Food."

SWEET

RECIPE: RUMXINGER

...for when your man won't give you no dinner.



one part rum
two parts xinger

REVIEW: COLD DEAD EYES

COLD DEAD EYES

REVIEW: MARGARITA

COLD DEAD EYES

REVIEW: ICE CREAM

COLD DEAD EYES

INTRODUCING:BILLY COLLINS

Hi, I'm: Billy "le bleu" Collins, (of "Poetry")

I enjoy: masturbating at my typewriter.

I'm also: aware of your presence, even though i didn't see you.

And my name is: Billy Collins.

FOOD INVENTION: CHOCOLATE EASTER BUNNY INFUSED WITH RABBIT

Invention: Chocolate Easter Bunny Infused with REAL Rabbit

Purpose: To make VOSGES the supreme ruler of the land of meat-chocolate that is America.

INTRODUCING: AMERICA

Hi, I'm: America (of the America).

I enjoy: penises. and ranch dressing.

I'm also: large, and i love bald eagles and fire.

And my name is: AMERICA.

TOP FIVE WORST BACON CHOCOLATE

you daily top five worst bacon chocolate, reviewed by AMERICA

1)"DOES THIS CHOCOLATE HAVE BACON IN IT?"


2)"BAAAAYCON AND CHAAAAACOLATE...WHAT'S THAT LIKE?


3)"I SAW Y'ALL ON THE FOOD NETWORK. Y'ALL ON THE FOOD NETWORK?"


4)"NOW WHO CAME THE IDEA FOR BACON CHOCOLATE??"


5)"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACON. CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOLATE. BACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATE."

REVIEW: EATING

there are too many reviews about eating.

REVIEW: EATING

...is delicious

REVIEW: EATING

I like it.

TOP FIVE FOOD

your daily top five food, reviewed by food

1)Hotdogs
"Yes, Yes, this is the food to be eaten."


2)Wine
"Wine is a food."


3)Bananas
"Mmm."


4)Pigs
"I got all livestock.I got all livestock. I got all livestock."


5)Cheese
"I really like to eat this fifth food, even though it's a food, just like me."

INTRODUCING: FOOD

Hi, I'm: Food (of the Scalar Kitchen).

I enjoy: being eaten.

I'm also: naked, and cold, without the warm embrace of your lips.

And my name is: Food.

TOP FIVE "SOMETHING'S KIND OF SORT OF" FILMS

your daily top five "something's kind of sort of" films, reviewed by: Chandra of the Popcorn.

1)Something's Gotta Give
"There's kind of something that's sorta gotta give."

2)It's Complicated
"Meryl Streep. Alec Baldwin. Something's kinda sorta."

3)As Good As It Gets
"It's kind of like something's good but not good enough but that's as good as it's going to get."

4)Because I Said So
"Or: Descent into Oblivion."

5)Some Kind of Love
"(as sung by Iain MacKintosh)"

INTRODUCING: CHANDRA OF THE POPCORN

INTRODUCING: CHANDRA OF THE POPCORN


Hi, I'm: Chandra (of the Popcorn).

I enjoy: reviewing movies.

I'm also: naked, sitting in a giant tub of hot buttered popcorn.

And my name is: Chandra.

INTRODUCING: INTRODUCING

Hi, I'm:

I enjoy: introducing things.

I'm also: introducing you to a new function of the Scalar Kitchen, called "INTRODUCING:".

And my name is: INTRODUCING:.

REVIEW: TOP FIVE TOMATO REVIEWS

your daily top five 'tastes of tomato,' reviewed by NeNe Tomato

1)"You anticipate the promise of a taste sensation that bursts in your mouth and envelopes your taste buds in warm juices that fill you with summer sunlight. Ah…luscious."

"This review is about me, NeNe Tomato. I'm a tomato. And it tastes good. Neeeeiigh."



2)"Tomatoes That Taste Like Tomatoes."



"Coincidentally, I am a horse-tomato who rides on a larger horse-tomato. Ignore my original incarnation."

3)"I thought this was a bell pepper." - SFist

"Hey guys, you want to go down to the Farmer's Market and get some UHRLY GURLZ?

4)"I thought I was eating a grape." - NYist

THIS IS A TOMATO-VIDEO

"It is disappointing to think you are eating a grape and have it turn out to be a tomatoe."

5)"I'm your man." - Sexy Tomato

"From minimalist blogger, ramonlamarca, comes..."

REVIEW: BEST ANYTIME DELIVERY

TOP FIVE CHILDREN'S FOOD

your daily children's foods, reviewed by Juan G. (celebrity)

1)Eggs
"Eggs are a good children food in that they are both children and food.


2)Fruity Speckles
"The Krasdale of Fruity Pebbles. Fruity Speckles also killed J.F.K.."

3)Veal
"He's going to kill it. This is awful."


4)The Children's Menu at YUMMY TACO
"Those tacos have children inside of them."


5)The 5th Children's Food.
""

REVIEW: JUICY JUICE

"Gabby Babbles has the Juiciest Juicy Juice, Juice."

TOP FIVE COCONUT JAMS

your daily coconut jamz, reviewed by coconut james

1)"La-Ya-Ya Coco Jumbo. La Ya Yeh."


2)"Blond hair, black eyebrows, coco-jambo."
311's 'Come Original'

3)(Coconut) Jazz Jamba. "Paul & Jessica wouldn't know a Jazz Jamba if it bit them on the nose."




4)"Excuse me?"


5)Coconut James. "Me, Coconut James. Cuz I'm the no. 5 Coconut Jamz (James)."

REVIEW: YUMMY TACO

your daily yummy taco, reviewed by jessica:

Attention: Jessica's food review is the featured review of YUMMY TACO on yelp.com.

Look inside:

TOP FIVE WORST RECIPE EVER

YOUR DAILY WORST RECIPE EVER, REVIEWED BY JESSICA:

1)rice with soy sauce, tapatillo, parmesan cheese, and onion powder.

2)rice with soy sauce, tapatillo, parmesan cheese, and onion powder.

3)rice with soy sauce, tapatillo, parmesan cheese, and onion powder.

4)rice with soy sauce, tapatillo, parmesan cheese, and onion powder.

5)rice with soy sauce, tapatillo, parmesan cheese, and onion powder.

"this is really disgusting."