DRUNK BIRDS

I am too lazy to do a top 5 about this one. Just imagine!

I'm saving this.

Jessica, for some reason I don't have permission to change the banner on this blog. If you would kindly add this code in, it would make this blog a more exciting, lively place.

Sincerely,

Ft. Tapestry

HOW BOUT THIS?

Beans or fake beans?

BOTH.

TOP FIVE: DOGS EATING

eating things that are not burritos, reviewed by: my dad, who wanted to show me a video of a bulldog eating a burrito.
1)
"well this is all wrong"

2)
"kill your dog with watermelon"

3)
this is a TOP HOLAT costa rica cookie. this cookie is 1300 calories.

this dog is 14 pounds, and is also roxy, my mom's dog, and also ate the aforementioned cookie, which is not a burrito but has as many calories as one, and also had to be given peroxide and sat outside with and watched so she didn't eat her own poisonous chocolate vomit.

4)
shut up, latte. nobody likes you. ZERO PERCENT BEST WATERMELON.

5)
that's not a bulldog, dad.
4)

REVIEW: ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S POPCORN

"as far as the game in general goes, i'd rather be paul newman."

REVIEW: PAUL NEWMAN'S POPCORN

"as far as the popcorn game goes, i'd rather be orville redenbacher."

I WANT TO BE

...in the lid of your sherbert.

TOP FIVE WHY ARE THERE TWO?

your daily top five why are there twos review by THE LADY TOP HAULAT.



"get the fuck out my house."

1) PAIN EAU CHOCOLATE

oh, that bouchon, he never knew how to just put a little in the middle.

2) DEUX BON HOMME TRES BOUCHONS


"Pour fabriquer un bonhomme, prend deux bouchons et trois cure-dents. Découpe, dans l'un des bouchons, deux rondelles d'environ 1 cm d'épaisseur. Brise les cure-dents en deux parties égales. Assemble l'ensemble pour faire ton bonhomme, peint-le avec de la gouache et met deux morceaux de laine pour ses cheveux.
Et voilà! "

3) DEUX MAWR RAWR.



"my inventors don't really know how to speak french."

4) LE 'AMBURGEHR.



"they think everything is a hamburger. this is not a hamburger, americains. also, there is not even two of them."

5) PAS DE DEUX


"part two (two)."

BEANS; OR FAKE BEANS?

This one's beans.

BEANS; OR FAKE BEANS?

This one's fake beans.

IT'S STARTING TO BECOME HARD TO CONVINCE MYSELF THAT THIS IS STILL A FOOD BLOG.

FOOD REVIEW: MAMA's BISCUITS

These are the Jazz Flutes of biscuits. Biscuits-a-jazzflutes.

JF-A-B.

Jessica.

SCALAR VORTEX COMING THROUGH

TOOOT TOOT.

REVIEW: VEGETABLE

"Beans: slim, green, flexible sticks. Want to make your teeth and tongue red?"

JUST WORKING ON THAT SCALAR VORTEX