DRUNK BIRDS

I am too lazy to do a top 5 about this one. Just imagine!

TOP FIVE THINGS THAT I BROUGHT FOR LUNCH TODAY

your daily top five things I brought for lunch today, reviewed by Christine:

1) FRUIT ON THE BOTTOM YOGURT

"Kind of nasty, but when you stir, it becomes something different entirely."

2) A TOMATO IN A ZIPLOCK BAG

"Protection is key, especially in today's world. Yesterday I brought a tomato to work not in a ziplock bag, and I don't want to talk about it."

3) HUMMUS IN COMICALLY OVER-SIZED TUPPERWARE

"Seriously. So little hummus. So much tupperware. But there is a hint of jalapenos! (I will let you guess whether I am talking about the hummus or the tupperware)"

4) TWO SLICES OF BREAD

"They are going to make me a 'mean' sandwich in that panini machine, I'll tell you what. And by mean, I mean awesome. I only like nice sandwiches."

5) THREE (COUNT 'EM) THREE SLICES OF CHEESE

"I didn't bring the tomatoes for nothing."

BACK ON TRACK

TOP FIVE VOSGES TOP-HOLAT

your daily top five top-holat, reviewed by Christine:

1) WASABI PEAS+ BLACK PEARL TRUFFLE=

"WHAT BLACK PEARL SHOULD TASTE LIKE. TAKE THAT, MARKOFF."

2) HOLIDAY PEACE COCK-RING

"Useless crap? No, much more important: Uselss crap ontop of Marzipan! Everyone loves Marzipan!

"No. No one likes Marzipan. Or crappy 60s hippy thowbacks."

3) HIP-HOP BLING COLLECTION

"'This decadent truffle combines white chocolate, Krug ® Champagne and gold leaf—echoing rap's transition from music to a culture of "bling" popularized in the late 1990s and early 2000s. The word "bling" was first used in 1999 by rappers B.G., Juvenile and Baby Birdman on their track Bling Bling to celebrate their flashy wealth and expensive diamonds. It quickly became a fad, infiltrating rap and hip-hop music until recent years, when the phrase became too commonplace to garner the same street value. Since then, many artists have spoken out against the bling lifestyle, criticizing it as promoting materialism in lieu of responsibility. Even still, "bling" remains a part of hip hop history. '"

4) CARAMEL MASHMALLOWZ

"I will eat these everyday. F you. There are none left for you."

5) BACON CARAMEL TOFFEE SANDWICH

"Yeah, yeah.. Bacon toffee? Bacon and chocolate? Giggle giggle. I love bacon. But seriously, make some sort of meat/ cheese sandwich, get a panini machine, put some of this shiz in there and you are floating on a delicious river of over-indulgence."

FAVOURITE FOOD/COCKTAILS

your daily food/cocktail pairings, reviewed by Orion:

1) Long Island Ice Tea and Ramen:
"It's the distinct flavours of the Orient mixing with the briny, crisp SINsations of the Longest Island of them All."

2) Bloody Mary and Yogurt:
"Oh, you feel this one, don't you, Jessica?"

3) Mimosas and Waffles:
"Mmmmmmmmmmrrrrmmmyyyrrrmmm....yeah. uh. yeah."

4) Jager Bomb and Tacos:
"The Gross."

5) Whiskey Ginger and Gingersnaps:
"gingergingergingergingerginger."

FROSTED MINI-WHEATS

Favorite Frosted Mini-Wheats

Reviewed by Christine:

1-5) THE ONES I AM EATING RIGHT NOW.

BUSTER'S FAVOURITES

my favourite flavours
reviewed by buster:

1)Treats:
"My favorite treats are small enough to eat in one bite. Otherwise, break 'em up for me a little bit. I include the eucharist in this category. Also, have you tried Dentables? They are quite good, and my breath is a little fresher too."

2)Kibble:
"I am more than 90% made entirely of pure kibble."

3)Grass:
"It helps me vomit."

4)Water:
"It's one of my few foods."

5)Plastic on the Floor:
"It's kind of like grass, in that it makes me vomit."

HOT SAUCE

your daily hot sauces
reviewed by Jessica:

1.Sri Racha:
"The Queen of all sauces with roosters on the label. For noodles, primarily."

2. Red Rooster:
"The penultimate best hot sauce with a rooster on the label. Primarily for things that are fried. Sometimes Indian food."

3. Tapatillo:
"Sweet beam of California loving glory. A Poem for Tapatillo."

4. Tabasco:
"Your ol' granddad's kind of hot sauce. No frills, just: Tobasco. Good for: eggs-eating in Old Man Diner at eight in the morning.

5. Assorted Imitations:
Chalula. Red Devil. Trader Joe's Pimento. The Third Best Sauce with a rooster on the label: that chili and garlic paste; it's more of a cylinder...okay.

APPLE JUICE

your daily applejuices, reviewed by Paul:

1) Apple Dandy:
"whether i buy this or not, this is my favorite flavor of the juices."

2) Apple and Eve:
"This juice is like as if Eve, the mother of us all, had sexual relations with our apple juice. Definitely a 'Forbidden Fruit'"

3) Krasdale:
"Krasdale tastes really horrible. This is one of those Krasdale products where you can taste the Krasdale."

4) Motts:
"It was on sale, so I bought it."

5) Martinelli's:
"In my caddy, gonna smoke a fatty...the champagne of apple juice."