TOP FIVE: 2 BIG 2 EAT

YOUR TOP 5 TOO BIG TO EAT REVIEWED BY SUSHI:

1)make it big make it big make it big on them fish.


2)monster in the moonlight, devils in his head


3)that's not a fish. oh wait there it is.


4)OH ITS HORRIBLE


5) oh i'm sorry i just...i just thought this was a dinner party

TOP FIVE WHY ARE THERE TWO?

your daily top five why are there twos review by THE LADY TOP HAULAT.



"get the fuck out my house."

1) PAIN EAU CHOCOLATE

oh, that bouchon, he never knew how to just put a little in the middle.

2) DEUX BON HOMME TRES BOUCHONS


"Pour fabriquer un bonhomme, prend deux bouchons et trois cure-dents. Découpe, dans l'un des bouchons, deux rondelles d'environ 1 cm d'épaisseur. Brise les cure-dents en deux parties égales. Assemble l'ensemble pour faire ton bonhomme, peint-le avec de la gouache et met deux morceaux de laine pour ses cheveux.
Et voilà! "

3) DEUX MAWR RAWR.



"my inventors don't really know how to speak french."

4) LE 'AMBURGEHR.



"they think everything is a hamburger. this is not a hamburger, americains. also, there is not even two of them."

5) PAS DE DEUX


"part two (two)."

TOP FIVE 'DRESSED LIKE FOOD'S

your daily top five 'dressed like food's, reviewed by a wet cake

1)Dogs dressed like food.
"Number 1 'dressed like food.'"

2)Rapanella Sanzio
"Me? Am I dressed like FOOD?" -Rapanella Sanzio

3)Billy Collins, a.k.a. Strawberry Collins

"I'm Billy Collins, but I'm also a stawberry wearing a tuxedo." -Billy Collins

4)Giant Canned Food Snake

"When you're on the go, and everything just fashion. And you're a Canned Food Snake. #4 top five 'dressed like food.'

5)You.
"You should dress like food. You too can be top five 'dressed like food.'"

TOP FIVE FOOD BLOG NAMES

your daily top five food blog names, reviewed by food


1)Someone Left a Cake Out in the Rain.

"And I'll never have that recipe again. Actually. Top 1 Foods."

TOP 1 HOT FOODS JESSICA WOULD HAVE REVIEWED IF SHE REALLY CARED ABOUT THIS BLOG

your daily top one hot foods that Jessica would have reviewed if she cared about this blog half as much as she should, reviewed by Uber-Jessica.



1)Hot kale with salt and tapatio:



"I'm going to sing about all my hot, spicy kale." -Jessica in the cast of Jersey Boys.

TOP FIVE PUDDING CATCH PHRASES

your daily top five pudding catch phrases, reviewed by pudding collins

1)Puddin' Style: "Get this on a mug."

2)Pudding Bear

"A big, clumsy, yet lovable animal who can be seen wearing camo outfit as well as diving a big blue truck...skilled in the art of Afro enginering the pudding bear can also be seen fishing or mowing the lawn..the pudding bear is what is known for being "farm strong"...however it is terrified of snakes and lizards...it's only known enemy is the public school education system."

3)I like pudding.
"0:31 = Children on the internet."

4)Puddin' 'n' Tain "You won't believe this story..."

5)Mew Pudding Waka Laka
"If you like Evil Food-Eater Conchita. You might like this Pudding."

TOP FIVE EMO BALTO MUSIC VIDEOS TO EAT SCONES TO

your daily top five emo balto music videos to eat scones to, reviewed by Chandra of the Popcorn (Chopcorn of the Popcorn (Scones))

1)
"The Petzgirl adaptation of Balto is richly labored and seamless. It is both black and white and in color, depending on what Balto's mood is. Breathe your life into me. I'm a cartoon dog. The other dogs just beat me up. And now I'm on the ice. I can feel you. I'm falling, falling."

2)
"The Original Balto Musik Video. #2. If you only see one Balto remix video this year, make it Du Hast."

3)
"Never mind. This is the best Balto. He's a vampire."

4)"But eriously. The original. #4."


5)"The 5th Children's Food."

TOP FIVE WORST BACON CHOCOLATE

you daily top five worst bacon chocolate, reviewed by AMERICA

1)"DOES THIS CHOCOLATE HAVE BACON IN IT?"


2)"BAAAAYCON AND CHAAAAACOLATE...WHAT'S THAT LIKE?


3)"I SAW Y'ALL ON THE FOOD NETWORK. Y'ALL ON THE FOOD NETWORK?"


4)"NOW WHO CAME THE IDEA FOR BACON CHOCOLATE??"


5)"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACON. CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOLATE. BACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATEBACONCHOCOLATE."

TOP FIVE FOOD

your daily top five food, reviewed by food

1)Hotdogs
"Yes, Yes, this is the food to be eaten."


2)Wine
"Wine is a food."


3)Bananas
"Mmm."


4)Pigs
"I got all livestock.I got all livestock. I got all livestock."


5)Cheese
"I really like to eat this fifth food, even though it's a food, just like me."

TOP FIVE "SOMETHING'S KIND OF SORT OF" FILMS

your daily top five "something's kind of sort of" films, reviewed by: Chandra of the Popcorn.

1)Something's Gotta Give
"There's kind of something that's sorta gotta give."

2)It's Complicated
"Meryl Streep. Alec Baldwin. Something's kinda sorta."

3)As Good As It Gets
"It's kind of like something's good but not good enough but that's as good as it's going to get."

4)Because I Said So
"Or: Descent into Oblivion."

5)Some Kind of Love
"(as sung by Iain MacKintosh)"

TOP FIVE CHILDREN'S FOOD

your daily children's foods, reviewed by Juan G. (celebrity)

1)Eggs
"Eggs are a good children food in that they are both children and food.


2)Fruity Speckles
"The Krasdale of Fruity Pebbles. Fruity Speckles also killed J.F.K.."

3)Veal
"He's going to kill it. This is awful."


4)The Children's Menu at YUMMY TACO
"Those tacos have children inside of them."


5)The 5th Children's Food.
""

TOP FIVE COCONUT JAMS

your daily coconut jamz, reviewed by coconut james

1)"La-Ya-Ya Coco Jumbo. La Ya Yeh."


2)"Blond hair, black eyebrows, coco-jambo."
311's 'Come Original'

3)(Coconut) Jazz Jamba. "Paul & Jessica wouldn't know a Jazz Jamba if it bit them on the nose."




4)"Excuse me?"


5)Coconut James. "Me, Coconut James. Cuz I'm the no. 5 Coconut Jamz (James)."

TOP FIVE THINGS TO SAY WHILE LUNCHING WITH LEGRAND LAMP

In 1899, Pierre Bonnard painted this:

Titled, "Lunch at Le Grand Lamps."

Here are some helpful hints if you're ever to lunch with the man himself.

your daily top five conversation-starters during your luncheon with Legrand Lamp:

1)"I dare say, is that a basket of bananas?"

2)"It feels just like the Swiss Alps in here."

3)"Are those mesh shorts?"

4)"Some say you are a flash in the plan, but I disagree."

5)"Mmm, banana pudding again, I see."

TOP FIVE EVIL FOODS

your daily top five evil foods: reviewed by Evil Food Eater Conchita

1)EVIL FOOD EATER CONCHITA
"I am the most evil-food-eating Conchita."



2)DELICIOUS FOOD
"'Delicious Food' is also pretty evil."



3)THIS GUY HERE
"My mother always told me: 'Conchita, eat that pig'. This is one my first evil foods. Number 3."



4)CAT SOUP
"An evil-food-eating girl like Conchita, could really get along with a guy like this."



5)RUDY GIULIANI EATING BACKWARDS
"For an evil-food-eating girl like Conchita, it's harder to get a hold of evil foods after Mr. Giuliani 'cleaned-up' the place. But I still admire the evil way he eats."

TOP FIVE BIBLE QUOTES ABOUT FOOD

your daily bible quotes about food, reviewed by buster:

1)Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? Matthew 15:17

2)My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. Psalm 63:5

3)I eat my fill of prime rib and gravy; I smack my lips. It's time to shout praises! Psalm 63:5

4)Men ate the bread of angels; he sent them all the food they could eat.

5)“All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. Peter 1:22-25

TOP FIVE THINGS THAT I BROUGHT FOR LUNCH TODAY

your daily top five things I brought for lunch today, reviewed by Christine:

1) FRUIT ON THE BOTTOM YOGURT

"Kind of nasty, but when you stir, it becomes something different entirely."

2) A TOMATO IN A ZIPLOCK BAG

"Protection is key, especially in today's world. Yesterday I brought a tomato to work not in a ziplock bag, and I don't want to talk about it."

3) HUMMUS IN COMICALLY OVER-SIZED TUPPERWARE

"Seriously. So little hummus. So much tupperware. But there is a hint of jalapenos! (I will let you guess whether I am talking about the hummus or the tupperware)"

4) TWO SLICES OF BREAD

"They are going to make me a 'mean' sandwich in that panini machine, I'll tell you what. And by mean, I mean awesome. I only like nice sandwiches."

5) THREE (COUNT 'EM) THREE SLICES OF CHEESE

"I didn't bring the tomatoes for nothing."

TOP FIVE REASONS WHY FOODSWINGS IS HORRIBLE

your daily reasons why foodswings is horrible, reviewed by jessica:

1)THEY WILL DELIVER RIGHT THERE, BUT NOT HERE.



just so you know, they are here.


2)SOMETIMES THEY DON'T DELIVER AT ALL:
"and you have to do a 'forty minutes later'"

3)FUCK THOSE PEOPLE:
"they are always always mean to us"

4)THEY ARE CONFUSING ON THE PHONE:
"i do not want the buffalo basket"

5)EVERYTHING IS STILL SO TERRIBLY DELICIOUS:
"there is no animal nothing in this subsequent food picture."

TOP FIVE LISTS

your daily top five lists, reviewed by orion:

1)HEAD ATTACKS:
"This was the best one because of the amount of video."

2)BUSTER'S FAVOURITE FLAVOURS
"Look at that mustache. British spelling. Priceless, this is great."

3)VOSGES CHOCOLATE THINGS
"I fucking hate chocolate."

4)HOT SAUCES
"Hot Sauces. Even though I don't like it so spicy, you know?"

5)APPLE JUICE:
"This was the first top five."

TOP FIVE VOSGES TOP-HOLAT

your daily top five top-holat, reviewed by Christine:

1) WASABI PEAS+ BLACK PEARL TRUFFLE=

"WHAT BLACK PEARL SHOULD TASTE LIKE. TAKE THAT, MARKOFF."

2) HOLIDAY PEACE COCK-RING

"Useless crap? No, much more important: Uselss crap ontop of Marzipan! Everyone loves Marzipan!

"No. No one likes Marzipan. Or crappy 60s hippy thowbacks."

3) HIP-HOP BLING COLLECTION

"'This decadent truffle combines white chocolate, Krug ® Champagne and gold leaf—echoing rap's transition from music to a culture of "bling" popularized in the late 1990s and early 2000s. The word "bling" was first used in 1999 by rappers B.G., Juvenile and Baby Birdman on their track Bling Bling to celebrate their flashy wealth and expensive diamonds. It quickly became a fad, infiltrating rap and hip-hop music until recent years, when the phrase became too commonplace to garner the same street value. Since then, many artists have spoken out against the bling lifestyle, criticizing it as promoting materialism in lieu of responsibility. Even still, "bling" remains a part of hip hop history. '"

4) CARAMEL MASHMALLOWZ

"I will eat these everyday. F you. There are none left for you."

5) BACON CARAMEL TOFFEE SANDWICH

"Yeah, yeah.. Bacon toffee? Bacon and chocolate? Giggle giggle. I love bacon. But seriously, make some sort of meat/ cheese sandwich, get a panini machine, put some of this shiz in there and you are floating on a delicious river of over-indulgence."